On Father’s Day
A reminder of both the power of honest writing and the actual weight of paternal absence—gratefully sharing a post by Gideon Haigh, that might resonate with many.
I was already digging the hole of self-pity, ready to jump in and drown in my own contradictions.
"They're just commercial spin-ups that have lost their true meaning"—that's what I tell my family about Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, Father's Day, and the rest. Perhaps it's easier to be cynical when your family is as disparate as mine, sprinkled across continents: my daughter on the Gold Coast, trying to stay warm, her brother building a career in Boston after college, me in Geelong, and their mother in Melbourne.
So, there I was, on the couch, feeling sorry for myself—again.
My son in Boston operates on a different calendar—Father's Day in the U.S. falls on the third Sunday in June, coinciding with the U.S. Open (Golf), which acts as an easy reminder. My siblings in Manchester share that timeline. Nothing to expect there; any contact would be a welcome surprise, though not expected. Leaving the burden, unfairly, on my daughter—the youngest and, as she reminds me, the wisest of the bunch. Could she rescue her father from a day of sulking?
Then, by chance—I rarely look at email on Sunday's—I found an extraordinary piece by Gideon Haigh on his Cricketetal Substack. It was titled, "The Father Who Didn't."
Before I go on, I should say that Gideon and I have known each other off and on for the past 20 years, or since I moved to Australia. Obviously, we share a common interest, cricket. He is an avid player, still with South Yarra CC, and an extraordinary writer, who doesn't just muse on cricket, but pretty much anything he puts his mind to. Whereas I am an ex-player trying to leave cricket alone, and an accidental commentator on the game—I'm not able to use writer in the same paragraph.
Perhaps I could offer that the gap between Gideon's writing and mine is similar to the difference in our cricketing abilities? I hope that's not too vain on my part—it’s more to substantiate the gap in our writing!
I am certainly not going to offer an opinion on the article, and I urge any or all of you to take the time to read the post here. It's a reminder of both the power of honest writing and the actual weight of paternal absence.
The only comment I will offer is to marvel at the prose and composure that Gideon displayed. I can't imagine writing a piece like that and not becoming emotional. The balance he held between fact and feelings was, to my mind, remarkable.
I was fortunate to meet Gideon's mother when he asked me to act as an interlocutor—I had to go to the dictionary—at a Geelong book launch—I think it was "On the Ashes"
I opened with a question on his cricketing education, while referencing Geelong Grammar as his school. Fortunately, Gideon didn't allow me to go much further before correcting his place of education to Geelong College. At the evening's conclusion, Ms. Haigh, after a brief congratulatory sentence, reiterated the need for proper and comprehensive research before taking on such roles. It remains the most polite telling-off I have received.
So, my petty complaints about time zones, geography, and lack of appreciation suddenly felt appropriately small. And, of course, the next time I looked at my phone, there was a "Father's Day" message from dear Ella. She was in Hobart for the weekend, throwing snowballs. We're just hopeless wanderers!
Just in case you missed it, here’s the link:
