Lord's and the Jazz-Hatters

Named after its founder, Thomas Lord, they say:

"There’s something special about Lord’s."

Yes, most people are aware of this well-worn cliché. But what is it that truly sets Lord's Cricket Ground apart, or is this perception merely a myth?

Regality and grandeur first; its address:

Lord's Cricket Ground, St John's Wood Road, London NW8 8QN—Isn’t that something?

Located close to central London and situated north of the River Thames—of course, very important to many of its jazz-hatters—it offers convenient accessibility via the tube. St John’s Wood station is nothing more than a leisurely amble. Alternatively, you might want to stretch your legs further; if so, other options are Baker Street, Warwick Avenue, and Edgware Road, all within a sedentary 15-minute walk.

And, what about the quintessentially English mode of transportation—the good old London bus? Routes 13 and 113 run adjacent to Lord's on Wellington Road, stopping closest to the North and East Gates, but are within a comfortable walking distance to the fabled Grace Gate. Notice the singular noun here—this place has many peculiarities.

Motor cars are frowned upon, with patrons encouraged to leave their jaguars at their country estates.

Now, the eco-friendly. Bikes are encouraged, but Lords warns peddlers to honour the ‘riding under the influence’ rules.

If pressed, I would say: Just catch the tube and stroll down Baker Street!

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With the logistics in hand, it is time to delve into the intricate tapestry of a day at Lord's through the eyes of a Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) member—a quirky bunch they are.

This tribe offers up interesting character assessments; as a rule, they are as unique as their eccentric clothing habits. However, they do understand that cricket is not merely a sport but a timeless ritual that demands reverence and indulgence from its onlookers. They are indeed subservient to these rules.

The first stop would be the revered honours boards.

Members are likely to know that no Test cricket has been played here since their last visit, but they will still feel the need to stare awhile at recent inductees as well as reminisce with old favourites. They might even enter into some meaningless conversation with a like-minded toff. "My dear old thing." Waffle, waffle, waffle.

With respect paid, it’s time to get off the mark. The pavilion at Lords is distinctive for its starkness; at ground level, you have an average view of proceedings at best. This does not deter an MCC member, though—oh no, quite the opposite, it allows for a dependency on alcohol to get one through the day's play.

A well-aged single malt (rough start there), a refreshing gin and tonic, maybe a glass of champers, or it might be a pimms—never would it be a pint of beer, though!

Whatever the weapon of choice, it will accompany our warriors through the first hour of play—I almost forgot the newspaper, freshly delivered to their NW8 town residence. Yes, of course, they would settle down with the Times cricket correspondent and their drink and wonder why Mike Atherton is talking to them and not Neville Cardus (two Manchester lads). Oh well, adjust the eye-glasses and push on, my dear old thing.

The second hour leading into lunch is reserved exclusively for the midday nap. Nothing must come between this and that!

If you had to make comparisons with the members of the Melbourne Cricket Club in the Southern Hemisphere, there would be little or no connection.

A Test match day at the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG) only has time for drinking, not sleeping. Sleeping is reserved for the homeward train journey. We have a reader who regularly ends up in Lilydale at the end of Boxing Day!

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Even though I poke some fun at Lord’s and its members, it remains undeniable that "The 'home of cricket' is still a home principally for men." The most obvious example is that England Women are yet to play a Test match at Lord's.

It is owned by Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) and is the home of Middlesex County Cricket Club, the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB), the European Cricket Council (ECC), and, until August 2005, the International Cricket Council (ICC).

It remains a stubbornly male-dominated domain.

In contrast to the England women, the England Men have played two Tests and at least one limited-overs international at Lord's every year since 2000, except for the pandemic-affected 2020 summer.

And then there’s the parody of "The Oxford and Cambridge" match—a continuing promotion of elitism in a rapidly changing British society.

The Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) is a private members club, and they can do as they like, and many members clearly reject the ‘new interference’ from some quarters. I say, though, that you can have your cake and eat it, dear MCC member. Enjoy your day at ‘The Test. Your spouse is likely to welcome you back at the end of the day, and money will roll into your coffers courtesy of exorbitant ticket sales.

"As the game strives to become more inclusive—it clearly must—normal rationale must prevail; if it doesn’t, further harm will be done, which some people might not realise while they are napping after a nifty gin and tonic.

Enjoy tomorrow, you bunch of jazz-hatters.

PS: This was meant to be a review; instead, I got carried away with that Lord’s stuff. A truncated review should be out before the first gin and tonic goes down!