Selection, bluffing, and 'Bumble Lloyd' with the possibility of an Ian 'Bell End"
In Southie, a whisper is circulating that Belly might have a bowling end named in his honour. Now, before you assume it's South Boston, allow me to clarify—this is South Birmingham, home to Edgbaston and Ian Bell, one of England's finest batting technicians. So, what's doing, why the recognition and a 'bowling end'?
Well, David 'Bumble' Lloyd claims it's the case, and if Bumble says so, it must be true. Like the Dons of South Boston—his word, is the word of the Lord! So help me …
I was going to stop here and get serious; but why—what’s another paragraph. So following on this thread:
How now; my mind leaps to a vivid image, deeply embedded in the recesses of this cluttered mind. It was the UK; there was no doubt about it, no question. Can you believe it? A street sign nestled against a charming stone wall, if my recollection is true. The sign is decorated with profanity. Bell End. Yes, you read it correctly. Bell End. The UK has Roads and Streets, as well as Avenues; then there are Ends, an affix that begs creative manipulation. Here, your proof.
SpeakingNick is a reader-supported venture. Free and paid versions are available. The best way to support me is by taking out a paid subscription.
Apologies…
So, England has their team sheet in—those pesky bits of paper that have to be signed and grow wings if the wind gets up. Well done, England, I say. No Bluff. Remember the "Bazball" definition? — "It’s when two New Zealanders get together and have a crack at running English cricket, with a dude who could be mistaken for a Kiwi (Rob Key)."
So in true "All Black" fashion, the "Bazball" crew has declared their hand early; we know their team! (Remember when Australia used to do this?)
There was a modicum of bluff in Stuart Broad "retaining his spot after the Lords Test"—he was always playing, so not perfect disclosure scoring there, but the rest, well granted, no bluff: Jimmy Anderson, similar to Kenny Rogers, will keep on keeping on. There’s no letup in "Burnley Lara." And Ollie Robinson, well, he’s pretty solid when he has his feet on home soil.
It also should be said that Moeen Ali will lengthen the sometimes vulnerable lower order of the hosts; however, with this, they trade away Jack Leach’s growing dependability with ball-in-hand (did I just write that?)
So, on to Australia.
My view is that they have been closet masters of the colluding bluff by presenting multiple permutations, luring in the curious and anyone with an opinion, thus creating intrigue amongst the opposition and punditry. And then, before you can say Bell End, they roll out the blindingly obvious and messers. Bailey, Dodemaide, and McDonald sit smugly, arms folded.
I might be wrong (yes, it's happened more than once), but on this occasion I see little reason to be concerned about selection; any bowling combination Australia chooses is more than capable of taking the required 20 wickets.
If we really want to debate, it has to be two from three: Scott Boland, Mitchell Starc, and Josh Hazlewood. A primary requirement must be the capacity to bowl north of 30 overs without interruption—that’s injury-related. This has Boland and Starc in front, and Hazlewood primed for a Lord's inclusion.
We know the pitch is dry; dead grass is hiding a crusty scalp, and with warmish weather predicted, it should spin and reverse. Starc has to play for both reasons (reverse and creating rough for Nathan Lyon).
Call me simplistic. No problem. And here’s a stat I found; you’ll recall, "Yes, you can make numbers work for you any way you want."
Starc boasts one of the best strike rates (49.9) in world cricket, ahead of other modern-day greats like Michael Holding (50.9), Mitchell Johnson (51.1), and Glenn McGrath (51.9). Just saying.
Australia to win the toss and bat. Then it's over to Broad and Davey Warner for the first act. Anderson and Usman Khawaja can spar along, trying not to get in the way. It should be compelling viewing.
Regular readers might suspect I’ve been drinking while filing this interlude. I can report that is not the case; more, I feel a little twitchy and really lament the fact I am not in Southie to witness the unveiling of the "Bell End."
Bumble better be on the money, or best we "start the car."
Anyway, enjoy the cricket, everyone.
